Hi there, friend. Happy Friday!

Most of you know this, but for those of you that don’t (or those of you that have just stumbled onto my blog), I am a new military spouse. My husband and I have been married for a little over 6 months. While these months have been so sweet and full, they have also been hard, for a lot of reasons- leading with the fact that we had only been married for one month when we packed up our RV, sold most of what we owned, and drove from Memphis to Richmond- making this my very first military move.

My counselor told me about a month into my move, as I wept to her over a tele-health call, that it is actually recommended that, if at all possible, you don’t get married and move within the same year…why? Because these are two of the biggest life changes a human can make. Marriage and moving across the country in less than one month. To say it has turned my world upside down a bit, would be an understatement.

Nonetheless, it is what the Lord called me to. And man, it has been entirely sanctifying. After months of adjusting to being a newlywed, looking for a church, finding solid friends here, and building a home in our little two bedroom apartment, we are faced with a common military reality: we’re moving again.

Of course, I knew this was coming. And yes, I chose this life. And yes, I will continue to choose this life. AND… it is still hard.

In this season here in Virginia, I have felt the Lord’s presence in newer and deeper ways than ever before. God’s nearness has been a great comfort and companionship. And honestly, the last thing I want this post to be perceived as, is me ranting, venting, or complaining about “military life.” This is not a pity party, and I don’t need sympathy.

But the truth is- I’m really scared. I’m scared of what the next season holds. I’m intimidated by the reality that Beau’s job is about to change, and neither of us really knows what it is going to look like. I dread the idea of him potentially deploying. My heart sinks when I think about all the unknown that Louisville, Kentucky, holds for us.

And yet, I have never before in my life felt more confident in my kind, sovereign, trust-worthy Father. I have never felt more secure in the hands of my Savior than I do here, in this season. The truth is, I really don’t know what this season could hold. I don’t know where Beau will be this time next year. I do know there is a very real possibility that we will be thousands of miles apart. I also know that, even in that sorrow, my God will be near.

I don’t know what the rhythms of life in Louisville will look like. I don’t know what church we’ll go to. I have no clue how we will fill our home and make it our own. I have no clue how I will make friends in another new state. How will I build another new normal? In this, I turn my eyes to my Jesus and say a prayer of thanksgiving: You alone are the rock on which I stand.

The raw reality: I feel a lot of different ways about this move. I feel ready and excited and scared and grieved and blessed. I laid on my husband’s chest and wept a few nights ago. I couldn’t really articulate it all; sometimes words are just insufficient for all the feelings.

In all of it, I am leaning into the Lord. Leaning into the life that He has called me to and trusting that even here, in the depths of this little military spouse life that He has called me into, He will equip.

Once we get to Louisville, we will move into our beautiful new home and start building a life there. I’m so excited for the weddings that I’ve already booked in Kentucky, and I am so excited to watch my business grow as I have the opportunity to serve beautiful brides in a new state. I’m excited to see how my marriage and family will grow. I’m excited to watch my husband live out his calling in the army. There is a lot of good that will be in Kentucky, and I do believe that.

So, I will step into it- the good, the messy, the grieving, the blessing. I will follow God into all of it, and I will trust Him in it, until He calls us up into the next place.